Widening the Circle
Children are born egocentric, unaware they are not the center of the universe. But part of growing up means becoming aware of your ego and widening the circle around it: learning to think of others and to put their needs first. It means considering the impact that your actions and words have on the rest of the world and doing what’s right because it’s the right thing to do.
But it also means realizing that being a “nice” person can be the most egocentric act of all. Why? Being a good person and doing good deeds can be very ego-gratifying and even addictive, as any saint could tell you. That’s why saints often call themselves miserable sinners – doing good things gives satisfaction which means there is the horrifying possibility that they do the right things for the wrong reason: self gratification. Now most of us are musicians, not saints, so some amount of job satisfaction is right and necessary. Therefore, if doing the right thing for the music, or trying to anyway, makes us feel good, then that’s surely okay. If we give a wonderful performance, fully concentrating on the music, and afterwards the applause encourages and gratifies us, that’s fine, too.
But while saints may see themselves as selfish sinners, kind, shy and gentle people who project these qualities in their playing don’t often see themselves as self-centered. Realizing this, however, can be a big shock for them. For example, I have an 11 year old student who is shy and retiring but also the nicest, sweetest little girl you could ever know. She is always ready to help those around her. She is extremely patient with her younger brother and sister and behaves beautifully in school. What’s wrong with this? Nothing – until she plays the violin. What you see is what you hear – a very shy, sweet and nice 11 year-old with very little sound and a flaccid interpretation. When she plays, she is merely affirming her own self-opinion and confirming to her listener (me, in this case) the image she wants to send the world of herself as nice person. Making a big sound and doing a crescendo to a double forte don’t fit into that image. Or didn’t, I should say.
After wrestling with this for some time, I realized what the problem was – and it was NOT lack of talent, as some teachers might be quick to say. She had locked herself in a cage of self-image, thinking about herself, what pleased her and what projected her niceness to the world. SHE WASN’T THINKING ABOUT THE MUSIC BUT ONLY ABOUT HERSELF AND WHAT MADE HER COMFORTABLE. In short, she was being extremely egocentric, even selfish – her comfort was more important than the music and, even worse, SHE WASN’T AWARE OF IT!
While I can often tell a lot about my students from their playing, when I listen to a really good musician I don’t learn anything about his everyday character or personality. While it’s true that he uses them to transmit the music, what I hear is the music. I will never know if he got out of the wrong side of the bed that day, or fought with his wife, or took a beating on the stock market. And furthermore, I don’t care – and neither does he while he’s playing. If I listen to a recording without knowing or recognizing who the performer is, can I tell if it’s a man or a woman playing? Do I know the artist’s age? Certainly not.
My point is that studying music helps us mature. The emotional and intellectual growth we get from learning to play an instrument can well carry over into the rest of our lives, if we let it. It is our responsibility as teachers to help students come out of themselves, even get past themselves in order to do a greater good – think about something OTHER than themselves or the world in relation to them. We have to help them make the transition from revealing themselves when they play to revealing the music. Not a small task and one fraught with responsibility.
What about the little girl? I stopped her in mid-gavotte and asked her if she wanted to transmit a beautiful piece of music or transmit that she’s a nice little 11 year-old playing it. Didn’t she think that for the listener the music should be more important than the person playing it? Naturally she said that I should be hearing a beautiful piece of music and not the performer. I then very matter of factly informed her that she was only transmitting herself and should think about this – that she had to start thinking about what’s good for the music and NOT what’s good for her. This upset her a little as she had never thought of herself as being egocentric or self-centered. A week later she came back with a big sound and a lovely vibrato. I would like to say that she has liberated herself from the prison of her personality – I doubt that any of us ever really can – but at least she has widened the circle around her so that she is doing something wonderful for others and not just for herself. Now that she sees playing music as an act of generosity. it has become easier for her to give of herself. Yes, playing with a big sound and expression now fits into her self-image as a nice person, but she is also becoming aware that true selflessness and forgetting about oneself can come through music. She’s growing up.
Post Author: Eloise Hellyer
Share this:
Buy it on www.sharmusic.com - eBook format, avaliable worldwide, paperback in North America
COPYRIGHT
ABOUT
A music teacher’s thoughts and observations on the teaching and the study of a musical instrument, hoping to be of help to parents, students and teachers.
PHOTO
AWARDED TOP 25 VIOLIN BLOG
CATEGORIES
TAGS
ARCHIVES
-
Agosto 2022
Agosto 2023
Agosto 2024
April 2015
April 2016
April 2017
April 2019
April 2020
Aprile 2022
Aprile 2023
Aprile 2024
August 2014
August 2015
August 2016
August 2017
August 2018
August 2019
August 2021
December 2014
December 2015
December 2016
December 2017
December 2018
December 2019
December 2020
Dicembre 2022
Dicembre 2023
Dicembre 2024
Febbraio 2022
Febbraio 2023
Febbraio 2024
February 2015
February 2016
February 2018
February 2019
February 2020
February 2021
Gennaio 2022
Gennaio 2023
Gennaio 2024
Giugno 2022
Giugno 2022
Giugno 2023
Giugno 2024
January 2015
January 2016
January 2017
January 2018
January 2019
January 2020
July 2015
July 2017
July 2019
June 2016
June 2017
June 2018
June 2019
June 2020
June 2021
Luglio 2022
Luglio 2023
Luglio 2024
Maggio 2022
Maggio 2023
Maggio 2024
March 2015
March 2016
March 2017
March 2018
March 2019
March 2020
March 2021
Marzo 2022
Marzo 2023
Marzo 2024
May 2015
May 2016
May 2018
May 2019
May 2020
November 2014
November 2015
November 2016
November 2017
November 2018
November 2019
November 2021
Novembre 2022
Novembre 2023
Novembre 2024
October 2014
October 2015
October 2017
October 2018
October 2019
October 2020
October 2021
Ottobre 2022
Ottobre 2023
Ottobre 2024
September 2014
September 2015
September 2016
September 2018
September 2019
September 2020
September 2021
Settembre 2022
Settembre 2023
Settembre 2024
RECENT POSTS
Terry G and Me, or Terry Gilliam on Where (or What) Practicing the Piano Will Get You…
The Teaching We Don’t Do Is More Important Than We Think
Overwhelmingness or What Teaching and Motherhood* Have in Common
Cellphone Serenity
How to Build Your Reputation – the Kind You Want
Desperate Times, Desperate Measures. Or How to Deal With Your Strong-Willed Stubborn Student and Survive
“Why Does My Teacher Get So Frustrated?” Letter to a Perplexed Student
Mount Rush-no-more….And How to Get There
Realizzato con VelociBuilder - Another Project By: Marketing:Start! - Privacy Policy